Motherhood September 08, 2008
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Parenting FAQs

 

My worries are - will this affect my foetus if I have a vaginal birth? Does the abnormal pap-smear results means I have cervical cancer?

I'm also diagnosed with Strep Group B. I have had antibiotics, but it recurred again at 31weeks. How can I prevent it from recurring the 3rd time? Presently I’m 32 weeks pregnant.

............................................................................

Question:
I gave birth to a baby girl in August 2005 via C-section. At the same time, my doctor, removed the Fibroids as well during the operation.

Is it true that despite being removed, the Fibroids would still grow? And what would cause the Fibroids to grow? Also, I had a pap smear done during my medical review, which showed I had infections. However, the nurse told me that was not serious unless it was a virus infection.  Would these infections go away after sometime? Early this month, I started having some brown discharge, which was not right, as it was supposed to be regular menses. Please help.

Answer:
Fibroids are common fibro-muscular growths on the womb walls. As much as 25% of women have these growths. The fibroid, which you have, is likely to be small as it did not cause any significant problem during pregnancy and could be easily removed during C-section. For larger fibroids, the recommendation really is not to excise during pregnancy or at delivery, as it is likely to cause heavy blood loss.

Fibroids are slow growing and you are not likely to have another of significant size before menopause. They are dependant on hormonal stimulation so most small fibroids will remain small or even reduce in size after menopause.

Vaginal infections are common and similar to getting a common cold or throat infection. When you have a vaginal infection, your body mounts an inflammatory response to “fight” this infection and this causes “abnormality” detected on the PAP smear. It will be important for you to treat this infection allowing the cervix cells to heal and return to normal and then repeat the PAP smear to ensure you do not have any cancer risk. The purpose of the PAP smear is to assess the cervix cells to ensure that there are no cell changes, which may develop into cancer cells. It is not used to detect infection. Therefore, if you have symptoms suggestive of vaginal infection, like itch, smell or increased discharge, please see your doctor to treat these first instead of proceeding with the PAP smear.

Abnormal discharge could be due to a variety of reasons, including vaginal infection, polyps in the cervix or womb lining, hormonal changes, unhealthy cells with cancer risk, etc. Please allow your gynaecologist to assess this to find out what is the cause.

Answer provide by Dr Chua Yang, Consultant Obstetrician & Gynaecologist - A Clinic for Women


Question:
My boy is already 11 months’ old. From birth till now, he throws out milk occasionally, after feeding. We believe that he must be allergic to cow's milk. To minimise such incidents, we started feeding him soymilk in the night. Is that alright?

Answer:
It is not uncommon for babies and infants to throw out milk after feeding, as some babies will have some reflux of the milk. Allergy to cow’s milk may manifest as skin problems like eczema, digestive system problems like vomiting, gas, bloatedness or in the respiratory systems like chronic cough. If your child only throws out only occasionally and do not have any other symptoms of allergy, he may not be allergic to cow’s milk. However at 11 months, your child should be able to take his nutrition from solids. You can give him cow’s milk and soymilk, as it is still nutrition to your child.  But if there is an allergy to cow’s milk, then you should just change completely to soymilk.

Answer is provided by Dr Irene Chan, Consultant Paediatrician & Intensivist, iKids Paediatric Practice, A member of Pacific Healthcare.


Question:
My girl three-and-a-half-year-old used to have long hair, slightly off shoulder. Recently, I suggested that she has her hair cut for better management. I told her it would be a similar hair style to one of her friends. My daughter agreed to it. Unfortunately, the hairdresser misinterpreted my instructions and my daughter had a boyish hair cut instead. This is devastating to me.

She looked upset but she did not express her unhappiness, only when asked whether she likes it, she then replied that she does not like it. There were times that we noted that she was quiet for a long while at that point when she looked at the mirror.

The rest of the family members have comforted and encouraged her by telling her that she looked great with this hairstyle and her hair will grow back. She seemed to accept the fact but still looked upset. We have also showed her photograph of other young girls with short hair but she kept quiet with no response.

When she attended school the following week, she was commented by some of her friends in the childcare over her boyish hairstyle. She received a nickname “handsome boy” and thereafter, I received a call from the teacher informing me that my daughter was found crying quietly in the school toilet. I am concerned over her behaviour. Basically, she is a very sensitive girl.

I would like to seek your professional advise, as I am worried that it will affect her confidence and self-esteem. My husband and I are concerned that this might affect her personality as well. Please advise us how best I can approach to minimise the possible damage to her development.

Answer:
By giving her reassurance, support and comfort is the right way of doing things in an adult way. There should be a balance between the adult’s and the child’s perception and it should be age-appropriate.

What the child needs is someone who she can talk about it to e.g., why and how it is affecting her, her thoughts, etc. She may think that the you do not care about her enough to listen to her but instead you are imposing your perception on her.

At her age, peer acceptance, image, etc., are important and any changes to them will cause the child to feel rejected, insecure, abnormal, etc. Any part of the body or her self image represents her security and any changes to her may also cause her to feel insecure, thus causing her to feel anxious or sad. What is worse is her friend calling her names, which reinforces her perception that she is different from them or being rejected. At this age, she cannot understand what a joke is but will take it serious especially if it is from those friends whom she cherishes or is close to.

Also when this happens, her trust for others may be affected and this may cause confusion in her.

As parents, rather than focusing on the negative aspect and trying to convince her that it is alright, parents can use it as a teaching tool to teach the following:

 

(1)   Problems Solving Skills

In life mistakes happen and we learn how to resolve it - as in this case, parents can tell the child that there was some miscommunication which has resulted in this. The incident cannot be changed but the next time we can make sure it is done properly.

 

(2)   Expressing Emotions

It is natural for parents to want to protect their child but we need to also let them know that expressing our emotions is a normal human function. If a child learns to suppress his emotions, this may lead to severe emotional difficulties at a later stage. However, we also need to teach the child to express it in a safe manner.

 

(3)   Social

Teach the child how to react to name-calling. Explain to the child that it is not nice to do so. Teach the child to ignore them and walk away or to be assertive and tell her friends nicely that she does not like them calling her names.

 

(4)   Anger

Explain to the child that she needs to understand what is upsetting her and talk about it her. When she is able to understand anger better, she would be able to control her impulses better.

 

(5)   Love

Explain to the child that no matter what happened to her, as her parents, family, etc., still love her as who she is. This helps her to see that her parents or others love her unconditionally and this can also help her at a later stage in her life.

(6)   Communication

Get someone close to her to talk to her. If she does not want to, do not force her but just let her know that you are there if she needs any help or someone to talk to.

This incident is unlikely to cause her any personality difficulties if support, understanding, reassurance, comfort and new skills are provided to her. When she has her next hair cut, she may display some anxiety, but just reassure her that it will be alright. After the cut, talk to her about it, e.g., how she feels, it is not as bad as what she thinks, etc.

If the situation does not improve, than you may need to seek professional help.


Question:
My baby is 4 months old now. I would like to know when is the best time to conceive again? And if i am to conceive 6 months later, will any complications arise for the mother and baby with regard to health matter.

Answer:

Congratulations! You are a new mother! If you had an uncomplicated pregnancy and vaginal birth, trimmed down to your optimal weight, toned up your muscles and regained your health and fitness, it would not be a medical risk for you to try to conceive again in 6 months.

 

Having a reasonable space between your kids may however be beneficial if you are not advanced in age. Your second pregnancy may be more tiring as you will still be looking after your baby who is not independent at that time. For example, your baby may be particularly “clingy” at that age and need to be carried a lot. This may be difficult while you are pregnant. A very young toddler may not be communicating well yet and it may be difficult to explain the concept of sibling and sharing of attention!

 

Answer provided by Dr Chua Yang, Consultant Obstetrician & Gynaecologist with A Clinic for Women.



Question:
My boy is due for his 1st birthday in June 06. He is a very fussy eater. He does not like to take solid food. Is he getting sufficient nutrients?


Answer:
Well, it depends on what he is eating. He can have sufficient nutrients by just drinking milk but you should supplement him with foods like cereals or porridge.

Answer is provided by Dr Irene Chan, Consultant Paediatrician & Intensivist, iKids Paediatric Practice, A member of Pacific Healthcare.

Question:
We are trying for our second child now. I had my last menses on 17 April 2006. My period dates for the previous months are as follows: Jan 13, Feb 10 and Mar 12. As the dates are not quite accurate, I am not very sure of my ovulation dates. On May 9, I had a slight period-like cramp which only lasted for a short while. I have experienced this type of cramps before when I was expecting my first child. Can you help to determine whether I could be pregnant and if the pain is due to implantation? Please help as I’m feeling confused


Answer:
Cramps are very subjective and even when you are very certain of your sensations, it is definitely not accurate to diagnose early pregnancy by this symptom! You are quite right though about these early pregnancy cramps…they can feel exactly like periods starting. I would suggest that you sit tight and wait for another week before doing a urine pregnancy test to confirm things.

Good luck!

Answer is provided by Dr Chua Yang, Consultant Obstetrician & Gynaecologist with A Clinic for Women.


Question:
I found my baby stools, which was greenish at the beginning, is now almost olive in colour and is quite smelly, too. It started after I switched the milk formula to a taurine and iron fortified one. Is this a normal reaction?

Answer:
Yes this is normal. Different milk powders will have different formulation and hence it is not unusual for the stools to change with a change in milk formula. Iron may give darker stools.

Answer provided by Dr Irene Chan, Consultant Paediatrician & Intensivist, iKids Paediatric Practice, A member of Pacific Healthcare.


Question:
I am 23 years’ old, while my husband is 27. We have one kid aged 21 months. It started when I was few months’ pregnant. There seems to be a lack of lubrication in my vagina during sex. I did use a lubricant gel but it doesn't seem to work. I still feel the pain and it would last for one to two days. The pain was especially bad when I need to pass urine. I was told by the GP that I had Urinary Tract Infection. I already had UTI about four times before. It seems more painful after the birth of my daughter. Please elaborate more about my problem.

Answer:
A few questions to ask you: How was your delivery? Was it natural or assisted? Were there vaginal tears? Are you still breast-feeding? Have you lost lots of weight? Are you very worried and stressed that intercourse might lead to another pregnancy?

If you have had frequent UTI - you could certainly improve your resistance by taking more Vitamin C supplement and cranberry juice extracts as well as improve the moisture and thus health and lubrication around the skin of your vagina by taking more Omega 3 oils and Lactobacillus. Drink plenty of fluids, too and observe hygiene at the time of sex. Do seek personal investigation should your problem persist despite preventive measures!

Answer provided by Dr Ann Tan, Consultant Obstetrician & Gynaecologist, Women & Fetal Centre, A member of Pacific Healthcare.

Question:
I'm expecting my second baby. My gynaecologist did a pap-smear test for me during my second trimester. They found endocervical cells. Cells showing low-grade squamous intraepithelial lesion (LSIL)/mild dysplasia (CIN I) with associated HPV infection.

My worries are - will this affect my foetus if I have a vaginal birth? Does the abnormal pap-smear results means I have cervical cancer?

I'm also diagnosed with Strep Group B. I have had antibiotics, but it recurred again at 31weeks. How can I prevent it from recurring the 3rd time? Presently I’m 32 weeks pregnant.

Answer:
You definitely do not have cervical cancer! CIN I is the mildest grade of cell change which has got potential for further progression towards cancer development. There are a total of 3 grades of these pre-cancerous changes. However, only about 20% of CIN I will progress to become CIN II and it takes an average of 5 years for CIN I to progress all the way to become cancer. Most CIN I may be seen in conjunction with infection and will heal and revert back to normal after some time.

These cell changes or infection with HPV (Human Papilloma Virus) will not affect your baby in any way and you will still be able to deliver vaginally if there are no other contraindications.

However, Group B Streptococcus is potentially threatening for your baby. These bacteria frequently colonise the vagina and do not cause symptoms or problems for the woman. The danger is for the newborn to acquire the infection while negotiating the birth canal during the vaginal delivery. The result may be a potentially life-threatening pneumonia.

Usually, a course of oral antibiotics is given to you as soon as the vaginal infection is found and subsequently IV antibiotics will be administered during labour or as soon as your waters are broken. The neonatologist (specialist looking after your newborn) will also be alerted to look out for infection in your baby after birth.

Answer provided by Dr Chua Yang, Consultant Obstetrician & Gynaecologist, A Clinic for Women


Question:
I’ve eaten some very sour mangoes without knowing that I was three weeks’ pregnant. Will it affect my baby? 

Answer:
The short answer is no! There is no problem at all with sour foods during pregnancy. In fact you may realise that as your pregnancy progresses through the first trimester, your cravings for sour foods tends to increase and that is why many pregnant women take pickles and sour plums to help avoid
nausea.

If you do not get gastric problems with sour foods, then please go ahead. A little trick in fact is to add some sour taste to more nutritious foods, e.g. squeezing some lemon on the fish to add taste. 

Answers provided by Dr Chua Yang, Consultant Obstetrician & Gynaecologist with A Clinic for Women.


Question:
Should I have my baby vaccinated against chicken pox? Are there any side effects? 

Answer:
Chickenpox is a very common childhood illness, which is usually mild. But sometimes in young children, it can become serious with skin infections, pneumonia, and brain infection as complications. Shingles, a painful rash, may occur years later in people who had the infection. Chickenpox vaccine should be given between 12 and 18 months of age, or any other age if they never had chickenpox. The side effects from the vaccine outweigh the complications of the disease and most will not get any problems with the vaccine. Mild problems like soreness around the injection site occurs in 1 in 5 children, fever (1 in 10 children) or mild rash (1 in 20 children). Very, very rare complications like pneumonia, allergic reactions or seizure have been noted.

Answers provided by Dr Irene Chan, Consultant Paediatrician & Intensivist, iKids Paediatric Practice, A member of Pacific Healthcare.


Question:
We are going for a holiday (a resort area in Batam) with our four-month-old boy. What do we need to take note of and bring along with us? There is no microwave in the hotel room, so how can I sterilise his milk bottles for drinking water (he's breastfed). How can I safely transport frozen breast milk for the baby when we're out?

Answer:
One of the main concerns will be mosquito-borne diseases like dengue fever, so I suggest bringing insect repellent along. It is great that you are breast-feeding, this will make your trip easier as you will not need to bring milk bottles or milk powder along! If you need to sterilise milk bottles, you can soak them in boiled water with sterilising tablets, which you can buy from the pharmacy/supermarket. Breast milk should be transported with cooler packs in a cooler bag to maintain the temperature as long as possible.

Answers provided by Dr Irene Chan, Consultant Paediatrician & Intensivist, iKids Paediatric Practice, A member of Pacific Healthcare.


Question:
My daughter is 5 years old. She is diagnosed with mild autism, more on behaviour issues and speech problems. She can’t pronounce clearly. She likes to smell people’s feet or touch things and smell. Recently, she has developed bad habits like screaming, shouting and pointing fingers at you when she throws her tantrum. She sill also pinch, scratch and hit people with whatever she can grasp hold of e.g. plates, cane, with full force which I feel is dangerous.

You wouldn’t know when she will strike and might even hurt you. She is currently undergoing OT and Speech therapy at HPB but it doesn’t seem to curb her temper tantrums. I find that she likes music. I was wondering if music could help curb her temper tantrums. Is this a good option? Is there any music teacher trained in teaching autistic children? If yes, where can I get this contact?

Answer:
The task of rearing a child with autism is most demanding and yet most challenging. Although friends and relatives may try to be supportive, they simply do not understand what it’s like raising a child with autism. It takes lots of patience, understanding, hope and love to parent them.

Your daughter’s recent behaviour can be a major problem especially when these acts are displayed in public places. Most onlookers judge a child’s behaviour as a product of their parents. They will never understand that your child is unique and autistic. Nor do people understand that such children also display characteristics of poor communication skills, poor social skills and may also show odd and challenging behaviour.

Although tantrums are rather a common characteristic for most autistic children, the causes of the tantrum can be more complex then it appears. Tantrum is a product of frustration; anxiety, anger, hunger, pain, discomforts and its causes can be very varied. Some children have tantrums because they are unable to communicate what they want or find difficulty understanding what they are being told. Others may be due to anxiety from activities or planned events they may not like to attend or have already attended. 

It is important to pay some attention to antecedents or events that occur before an inappropriate behaviour is exhibited. Your daughter throwing of tantrums and biting and hitting people. We need to explore the following:

a.What could have evoked these behaviours? Assess the specific situation in which these behaviours occurred. Explore what her day was like till the behaviour, what event is to take place, that could have contributed to such behaviour.
b.Encouraged her to communicate what may be causing her distress.

Coping with Tantrums

Remove objects that are dangerous in which your daughter may use to hurt or throw at someone.
When you see her temper escalating, you or who ever is present can move away from your daughter till she simmers down. This is what you call differential reinforcement, where the undesired behaviour receives no attention while the desired behaviour is given positive attention.

Music
* Studies have concluded the phenomenal effect music has on our brain waves to change neurological and biological functions for improved health, self-expressions, communication and socialisation.
* The malleability of music makes it a medium that can be adapted to meet the needs of each individual child. Music can also promote relaxation, self-expression and learning.
*Most importantly music helps maintain attention. It is motivating and engaging and can be use as a natural ‘reinforcer’ for desired responses. It can stimulate a child to reduce negative response and increase participation in more appropriate and socially acceptable ways of expressing of emotions. 

You may consider to contact:
a.KITS4 KIDS Special School at Tel: 63458812 – They do conduct activity based programs for autistic children.

Answer provided by Karen-Ann, Senior Counsellor with the Academy of Certified Counsellors.


Question:
I am coming to 39 years' old and am planning to go for a third child. However I am currently being treated for hypertension and am aware that there is some risk if I were to get pregnant. My hypertension is very well controlled while on treatment and to some extend, the readings can at times fall quite close to low blood pressure instead. Please give me some advice, as I really could not make up my mind.

Answer:
Congratulations on having had two children and now planning for number three! Congratulations too for having the foresight to have your hypertension under good control before choosing to get pregnant. This will definitely stand you in good stead for an uneventful pregnancy. Just make sure that the your doctor is aware that you intend to try for a pregnancy so that your medication can be adjusted to those that are pregnancy-friendly, thus ensuring that you are less likely to run into any complications. The presence of pre-existing hypertension that you may have slight increase in risk of hypertension in pregnancy. You should be mindful that at 39 years of age there are other issues that you should be aware of - increased risk of miscarriages and chromosomal abnormalities so make sure you see your obstetrician early in the course of your pregnancy for advice.
 
Answer provided by Dr Ann Tan, Consultant Obstetrician & Gynaecologist,
Women & Fetal Centre (A member of Pacific Healthcare Holdings Ltd.)


Question:
My baby girl is three months' old, she is 7.6 kg with 63.30 cm height. Is she considered as over weight? Recently, I had bring my baby to have 6 in 1 injection, after that injection I found that my baby had mild fever and she keep grumbling for the whole day, is that normal? So I am worried to bring her for second injection, is that alright?

Answer:
Your child is on around the 97th percentile for height and above the 97th percentile for weight for a three-month-old child. That means that 97% of all three-month-old Singapore girls are below her height and weight. But that does not mean that she is overweight as her height is also tall. Her growth parameters should be monitored and if both height and weight are growing proportionately, she will not be considered overweight. However, if her weight grows more than her height, then perhaps she should be reviewed by her doctor.

It is not uncommon for children to develop a fever after their vaccinations especially injections, which contains DTP vaccines as the 6 in 1. In fact, one in four children who has had these DTP injections will get fever or redness and soreness at the injection site, often after the repeated doses. However these side effects are temporary, and it is important for your child to be protected against these common childhood diseases that can cause much more harm to your child.
 
Answers by Dr Irene Chan, Consultant Paediatrician & Intensivist, iKids Paediatric Practice (a member of Pacific Healthcare Holdings Ltd.)

Question: 
My baby is almost four months now (born premature at 35 weeks’ at 2 kg). Ever since I can remember, there has been a ‘white coat’ on her tongue coat. Recently, I went online and realised it might be thrush? But when I tried using a damp cloth to wipe it off, it does come off. I just have difficulty trying to reach the further parts. She was on Similac but developed a mild allergy (spots on face) so I started her on Isomil which she's been tolerating well. 

Any solutions to clear the white layers off her tongue? I only started giving her water between feeds from about a month ago, as I was more concerned that she gets enough nutrients from her feeds. Hope you can help, as I don't want to rush her to her Peadiatrician as she's still taking her feeds well and her next appointment is only in August.

Answer:
The fact that you can wipe it off with a damp cloth suggests that it is not thrush. Thrush is a fungal infection of the mouth and it cannot be wiped off but requires antifungal medication to remove it. Your child likely has furring of the tongue from the milk he is drinking. This is very common and harmless in babies. Keep baby’s mouth clean by wiping with a damp cloth at bath time or more often if necessary. A baby should not sleep with a milk bottle in his mouth, as that would encourage the furring. If a baby falls asleep drinking milk, remove the bottle from his mouth as soon as possible.


Answer provided by Dr Irene Chan, Consultant Paediatrician & Intensivist, iKids Paediatric Practice (A member of Pacific Healthcare Holdings Ltd.)

Question:
I just found out that I am pregnant. Based on my first day of my last period, I should be about seven weeks’ pregnant but my doctor said that my baby seemed to be only five weeks’ old and that there was some blood beside it. What could have possibly caused it and why was the baby smaller than it should be?

Answer:
The baby may be assessed to be smaller than dates if your periods are irregular or if you had remembered your dates wrongly. The ultrasound scan is much more accurate when dating the pregnancy in the first trimester than using the last menstrual period.

There is a possible risk of miscarriage in your situation. If your pregnancy is indeed seven weeks but the baby has failed to grow beyond five weeks gestation, the ultrasound scan will continue to find a five-week sized pregnancy.

The important thing is to take all necessary precaution as you are now in early pregnancy and perhaps to consider hormonal support.

You could find out if this pregnancy is viable by doing blood tests (beta-hCG) or by waiting for another week or two and repeating the scan.

Question:
My wife have been prescribe Duhpaston 10mg (Dydrogesterone). May I know what exactly it is and how does it help my wife whom is just pregnant.

Answer:
Duphaston is a progesterone often prescribed in early pregnancy when there is a risk of miscarriage. It is safe for baby whether it is a baby boy or a baby girl.

Sometimes miscarriage can by due to hormonal insufficiency and the womb lining can start to shed leading to loss of the pregnancy. Taking the progesterone may help to prevent this situation.

Answers provided by Dr Chua Yang, Consultant Obstetrician & Gynaecologist with A Clinic for Women.

 

Question:
I have given birth about a month ago.  I still have brownish discharge on and off. Is it normal?

Answer:
Yes, the menses-like bleeding can persist for a long period of time and after which there is persistent spotting on and off for up to two months occasionally more. This is due to the uterine contractions you get while you are breastfeeding. Do not be alarmed and your next menses will come once you have stopped breastfeeding fully or when you start supplementing feeds at three to four months. Please remember that you may be fertile prior to the menses appearing so do take precautions if you do not wish for a next pregnancy too quickly.

 

Answer provided by Dr Ann Tan, Consultant Obstetrician & Gynaecologist with Women & Fetal Centre (a member of Pacific Healthcare Holdings Ltd.)  

Question:
My son is attending pre-nursery and has this habit of always biting, beating or kicking his friends. When we punish him, he will stop doing it for a while but will do it again. His teacher commented that he has a very bad temper and has suggested that we bring him to a doctor. Should I bring him to a doctor? What kind of doctor would you recommend? Is there any way to prevent him from being so violent?

Answer:
There are some children at this age who would have occasional aggressive outburst that may be part of normal development. They are unable to control their feelings of frustration and anger. When a child becomes angry, he is quite limited in ways to express it. Handling such outburst can be the most challenging part of parenting. No child can be expected to learn to handle his anger immediately. It is a maturational process. Not until the child becomes six or older can he be expected to learn specifically how to handle anger maturely.   Before I proceed further, there are some questions that need exploring.

  1. What is your little boy at home like?
  2. Is he the only child?
  3. Does he have boundless amount of energy, gets bored easily, or concentrates on what he does not wanting distractions?

Anger and physical expression of hurting another may be due to two main factors. Genetically link or socialisation effects. Children learn by observing other‘s behaviour e.g. family, peers, and siblings. And the media. The media glamorise violence. A child’s reality is not fully developed to unable it to differentiate what is appropriate behaviour and what is not. They may believe that aggression is an acceptable way to solve problems.

Secondly, it’s important to examine the situation that brought forth such behaviour. Could his anger and frustration be triggered off because he is not getting what he wants? His actions can be a compensation for feelings of inadequacy, ineffective social skills or a means of covering up emotional or learning. Could other kids be seen as obstacles or distractions when he is concentrating on something? Or he may lack social skills in relating with other kids e.g. sharing his things, not understanding that other kids can be noisy, critical, unhelpful etc and not always accommodating like adults.
Finally, what you can do as a concern parent?

  1. Monitor what T.V. programme your child watches. It has been proven that violent shows on T.V., computer games have an adverse effect on a child’s behaviour.

 

  1. Provide outlets for you son to direct his negative energy towards something physical that is safe and healthy. Help him release his anxiety, tension, frustration through activities such as, sports, running, jumping, swimming, cycling, and open space.

                                                            

  1. Do listen to his reason for such behaviour in school. Acknowledge that you understand your son’s, even if you disagree with his actions. This is important as your son’s thoughts and feelings make a great difference in your own understanding and action.   

 

  1. Evaluate you disciplining style. Who is the main disciplinarian? The best way would be is to reduce his privileges e.g. watching T.V. Play, Games. When he makes improvements in his daily behaviour, reward him with stickers (stars, well done) privileges, and word of praise. Include fair expectations with consistency.

 

  1. If there is conflict at home please discuss matters when children are not present.

 

  1. Provide unconditional love, which means that you still carry on loving your child even when at times you may detest his behaviour.

 

  1. Provide focused attention. Set aside time to spend with your son, free from distraction. This fills his emotional tank. During this time, spend it doing fun things. It’s the best interactive time that bridges you with your son.

 

  1. Watch what you son eats. High sugar diet and food additives e.g. tartrazine can cause anti-social and violent bouts in some children.

 

  1. Teach him some anger management techniques e.g. breathing exercise, self talk such as stop, think first before acting. Ask you son to describe some model behaviour he can consider. Rehearse and practice positive behaviour, using role-play, drawings. Using role reversal e.g. let you son play the role of the kid who was bitten, kicked or beaten. Discuss his feelings, and where it hurt. Allow him to suggest more appropriate methods of behaving, problem solving skills so he can find better ways of reacting to frustrating situations. 

 Answer provided by Karen-Ann, Senior Counsellor with the Academy of Certified Counsellors

 

Question:
Is it good or advisable to give organic food to my baby who is seven months old? Where can I get organic food?

Answer:
Organic foods means that that food is produced with materials and practices that uses natural systems, hence these methods minimise pollution from air, water or soil. It does not mean that these products are healthier as the nutritional content does not change with the method of growth or preparation, but the lack of possible contamination from synthetic materials like pesticides makes it safer to eat. Most major supermarkets will have a section on organic foods or shops that deal with health foods will probably have a good supply of organic foods. However, organic foods will generally cost more.

 

Question:
I'm planning to bring my daughter. who is 22 months to China (for holiday) for about seven days. What are the necessary things I would have to bring along?

Answer:
Besides the necessary warm clothings, you should bring foods that she may like to eat e.g. cereals or bottled foods as she may not like or be able to take the foods provided during the trip. You should bring enough milk as it may be difficult to get the milk that she likes during your travel. Drinking water are probably necessary, depending on which part of China you are traveling to, to make her milk or drinks. Be prepared with some common medication which can be bought over the counter, like fever or diarrhoea medication, or medication for running nose should she have mild symptoms while travelling but it is always advisable to get travel insurance should she need to seek medical treatment while travelling. Be sure that her immunisations are up to date, and you may want to consider the “flu” vaccine or hepatitis A vaccination if she does not have them.

 

Question:
My child rejects her new teat and has been rejecting milk though we try ways and  means to feed her. As she does not drink milk at all, she eats porridge,bread and biscuit to keep herself full. Will it affect her health and growth if she carries on like that? Pls advise! 

Answer:
I presume that your child is at least more than six months old if she is able to take solids, and once weaned, the dependence on milk as a source of total nutrition will be less. Milk can be added to the solids that she may be taking, for instance in cereals or she can drink from a cup rather than a bottle. But, if she is able to take a balanced diet of solid foods, her growth will not be affected.

 

Question:
I gave birth four-and-a-half months' ago.  It was a natural delivery.  However, till now, my husband and I have not managed to have any sexual intercourse.  This is because I find it very painful (feels like first-time sex), even though I've tried applying KY jelly.  Should I go for a checkup?

Answer:
Congratulations on becoming a mother! It is not unusual for couples to put off sexual intercourse for a while after the birth of their child. The reasons can be manifold. However, sexual intimacy is an important aspect in a marital relationship and it is no wonder that you are concerned about this problem.

Painful intercourse can be divided into superficial or deep dyspareunia. Superficial dyspareunia is pain that is experienced at the vaginal opening during intercourse. Deep dyspareunia is pain that is experienced during deep penetration and is felt inside the tummy.

You are most likely experiencing superficial dyspareunia caused by vaginismus.

Vaginismus is an involuntary tightening of the vaginal muscles during penetration. This is a fairly common reason for painful sex especially after a vaginal delivery where an episiotomy has been done. Some women develop a fear of sex after an episiotomy has been done or become afraid that sex may cause the wound to tear. This fear may then result in the involuntary tightening of the superficial vaginal muscles resulting in more pain during sex. This can result in a vicious cycle as the pain will instill more fear during the next sexual encounter. 

The vagina usually heals up very nicely after a vaginal delivery even with an episiotomy and it is very unlikely that sexual intercourse will tear the wound. Do not underestimate the importance of relaxation and adequate arousal!

You should also seek a doctor's opinion to exclude any physical causes.

Answers provided the Sex Counselling & Therapy Clinic @ Thomson LIfestyle Centre, Thomson Medical Centre

Question:
Is it true that women with small pelvic (I don't really recall what the doctor said), can't have a normal vaginal delivery? I was told to go through a C-section for my 1st child.

Answer:
When a baby’s head is too big to fit through the mother’s pelvis, there is cephalopelvic disproportion. This can be due to big baby (e g baby of diabetic mother) or pelvis that is small or abnormally shaped.

Cephalopelvic dispropor